Note to Lloyd's wife:

Posted by Robert N Pruden on Dec 4, 2004

Dear Most Beautiful Woman,

Your husband has a problem with the performance of his boat: it turns when he least likes it to. His concern is that he could find hisself in a difficult situation that could require him to turn right when the boat wants to turn left (did I get that right, Lloyd?). This considered, he could end up paddling over a class 6 rapid or something because of this most serious flaw.

Alternately, he could end up paddling in circles and never make it back to shore on a foggy day. Have you ever read the story of Captain Hudson? He was a captain on a boat who got hisself into trouble with his crew way back in the 19th century. He was on a long ocean journey and got lost in heavy fog in northern Canader. Food stores were dwindling. Fresh water stores low. The crew suffering. He saved the good food for hisself and his officers while the crew was forced to eat the mouldy food. Well, the crew became restless and eventually mutinied. Captain Hudson and his officers were uncerimoniously set adrift on a foggy day on what is now called Hudson bay, wayyyyyy up north in Canader. Well, the crew eventually saved themselves but no one ever heard from Captain Hudson again. He was presumed drowned or something because the weather had turned ugly. The waters of Hudson Bay are horrible during story times.

It is entirely possible that Lloyd could heroically (sp??) try to save hisself in such a situation but fail because of that damned twist in the stern. He could be with friends and they might need Lloyd to have a straight tracking kayak. His friends or you, quite possibly, just might have to depend on y our dear husband with your very own lives. Now, I'm not sayin' Lloyd will hog the good food or anything. I'm just sayin' that he could find hisself (and you) caught during a dark foggy night on an unnamed oceanic bay sometime. If he had a straight tracking kayak then he wouldn't have to worry about all those little corrections he'd have to mentally calculate to save hisself (and everyone else) for another day of luvin' you. A kayak with a bent stern could, in theory, have him (and you all) paddling in circles until he (and you all) starved and fell over, thereby drowning.

In short, it is in your interest to let him keep building boats until he gets that one perfect hull set absolutely straight. That would be the one boat to save his life (or yours). When a man is allowed to follow his instincts for survival, he can find his way back to life, so please, let Lloyd save his own life so that you can enjoy many more years together: let the man build more boats.

Robert N Pruden

Multiple Kayak Builder and Owner Survivor of Class 6 Rapid Adventures Helper of Fellow Builders and Kayakers

Hey, Lloyd, I' hope this letter helps, there's no copyright protection here so go ahead and print it up and slip it in with her Christmas card and gift. I'm sure she'll look at you with cow-eyes and graciously help you buy all the supplies you need to build an fleet of straight trackers.

;)

In Response to: Evidence by Lloyd E. Peterson on Dec 4, 2004

Replies:

• Re: Note to Lloyd's wife: by Lloyd E. Peterson on Dec 4, 2004
  • Re: Note to Lloyd's wife: by Robert N Pruden on Dec 4, 2004
• Re: Note to Lloyd's wife: by FrankP on Dec 6, 2004
  • Re: Note to Lloyd's wife: by Lloyd on Dec 6, 2004
    • Tolerance is... by Robert N Pruden on Dec 8, 2004